> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> User Info
> Later Days
> previous 20 entries

October 27th, 2006

01:52 am Its been a rather hectic past few weeks. My emotions have definitly gone for a wild ride in the process and i think that through it all ive learned a lot about people as well as myself. this is not gonna be in any particular order, im just gonna throw it out there as it comes to mind. the band is playing our first show on november 10th. i cant tell you how excited i am for it, but at the same time im scared shitless. if the crowd is the way i think its gonna be, the place is gonna be pretty damn full. ive never played in front of too many people before. im very afraid that we're not gonna be ready at all for it. we're trying to work hard but everything is so last minute and everyones so busy and scotts gone for 2 weeks...its just insanity. im going to keep on it though, and hopefully it all works out for the best. we have a song recorded and just about done. all it needs is mixing and eq'ing. i cant wait to get it up on myspace, because i think its fantastic. i think im gonna get a new car. ive been getting calls about loans and stuff for them and my car is just about due for its death, so i think im gonna go the distance on this one and pick one up. its going to be difficult to afford but i think i can do it. im sick of driving around in a car that im constantly uncertain/worried about. I think the next car is gonna be a stick shift of some sort. ive always wanted one and i think thats my next step to keep driving interesting. I've moved on in life as far as everything else goes and this is the next step towards independence i feel. women. you all drive me crazy and i dont know what to do with you, and yet i keep on trying like theres some little glimpse of hope somewhere. they should call me the master of bad timing, because thats all that i seem to be good at. i think i finally figured out tonight why nothing worked out between kristin and i after that first date. i think i kind of knew what the deal was the minute she kind of stopped talking to me, but i didnt really know so i kept optimistic. what a loss that was. i dont think theres anyone that ive met recently that is more fascinating than she was. Im glad its all finally clear to me in that regard, but im obviously a bit disappointed as well. I try and take it for what it is though. it was a great night. one worth remembering for a good long time, but thats it. i have to be doing something wrong here. the women show interest, it seems like it may go somewhere, and then it just gets stopped dead in its tracks and thats the end of it. i dont really understand where the issue lies. the worse part is i just dont think that i care anymore. im going to continue living with no hopes or expectations in this department because thats all i genuinly feel about it. part of me says i shouldnt have gone through all this to begin with because life was already good before it, but then i delved in there and now im trying to wrestle with it to maintain my uptempo personality. theres so much i want to write, but every time i do this i get through a little bit and then just completely lose the motivation to continue. this is what just happened. i dont want to be a part of this journal entry anymore. time to go. Current Mood: confused Current Music: emanuel - make tonight

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

October 12th, 2006

(Leave a comment)

03:32 am well tonight was awesome. had an incredible band practice that was one hell of a workout. its just about confirmed that our first show will be on november 10th and im absolutely psyched for it! we're going to work real hard to get it all out there and ready to go by then. after practice tonight we went and chilled w/ brad and keri and the guys from Driving East. They were a lot of fun to hang with. Some of the funniest storied ive ever heard were tonight in the RV. good times. hmm, i think i just went ahead and did something not so bright... so im not too good at the whole female thing. i may seem like i am, but im really in the dark about how stuff works. ive been single for a good year or so now so everythings rusty and i think that might be the downfall of me here in this circumstance. hopefully i find out tomorrow what the deal is, and hopefully im just an overanalyzing fool that needs to get a grip on things heh...but i guess you never really know whatll happen. i know this doesnt really make sense to anyone, and thats fine because it makes sense to me. i just hope it all works out for the best. jkhgkjgkjgkj Current Mood: sleepy

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

October 10th, 2006

05:34 am yet another interesting week. i must say things are quite interesting right now. have to bear with me as im really tired and often giving up on staying awake while i write this. thursday i had my first hockey game. it was a lot more fun than i thought it would be. it didnt feel like a chore and i actually survived through the 3 periods. i had a little trouble with 5 minutes left in the 3rd, but otherwise it was ok. we ended up winning the game 6-4 and it was a really great feeling. our next game is wednesday and i cant wait to play. friday i had work and for no particular reason, it was more fun than usual. nothing special happened, but it was a good time. later in the evening i met Kristin, along with her parents. what an experience. im not usually comfortable meeting new people, but i felt right at home in the entire situation. we went out bowling and had a ton of fun...im never listening to a girl the next time they say theyre no good at bowling. hustlers. all of you. anyway, after 2 games and some really awkward music we made our way out and decided that taco bell was the hip place to be. we spent 3 hours in the freaking taco bell just talking about everything. didnt notice the time passing by. after that we went and hung out back at her place. i played on a fantastic martin acoustic guitar and we watched futurama/the mummy. it was absolutely fantastic being with her that night. i just cant believe how many things we have in common. i mean, we even ordered the same meal without knowing what the other was getting...wild. she makes me smile, and im pretty sure i do the same for her. We were supposed to hang tonight, but i didnt get a call from her so i figure her rehearsal ran late or something, shrug. today was pretty fun. I went over to jay's house and we proceeded to the rec center for what ended up being 2.5 hours of paddleball. im pretty sure that this is the first time ever in my life that i kept up with jay. granted he was not at his best due to life getting in the way, im pretty proud of myself. i love hanging out with him. he has a way of making me feel like no matter how fast life moves, theres always a way to slow it down and appreciate the moments. its great to have him at home everytime he is home. i miss him already. as for now, i am a complete wreck. today was almost a perfect day, but what can you do. there'll be perfect ones in the future. my body is gonna hurt like crazy tomorrow and i was ready for bed at like 9pm. i think i will take this time and do that. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Circa Survive - In Fear and Faith

(Leave a comment)

October 2nd, 2006

04:40 am I thought that it would be another good moment for an update. Its 4:41am and i still havent gone to bed. I cant say that im very happy about that circumstance. I liked it better when i was in bed by 11:30/12. I will have to stay up a night and get in the good habit again. Things are still going well for me. I now work 6 days a week at the music store. If it was any other job, i would be sitting here whining to you about i dont want to and was forced to do it blah blah. I actually accepted all the days on my own. Its going to be a little difficult, but its not going to be an issue. It will be nice in the fall especially when everything i picking up to come home with some good cash by the end of the week. Im starting a saving/spending budget almost. Its more of a plan to establish a fairly decent credit score. Im determined to make this work because i have to start thinking about setting up for the future. I was looking into buying a new car, but i dont know if ill be able to. Its either plan a or plan be at this point. I have to get more info on both, so i will see what happens. on a slight tangent, the new Quietdrive cd as well as the new Saosin cd are both awesome. Pick them up if you get a chance. I started putting ideas together for a song yesterday. This is quite honestly the first rhythm ive thought up for a song in months. It used to be an everyday thing for me, but im so hard on myself to write something that doesnt entirely sound like its been done before and as a result i shoot a lot of my own ideas down. I look forward to developing this idea though. While it is fairly used, its something i havent heard in a long while...so im hoping with all the lead stuff i put in, ill be quite happy with it. Hopefully I can convince justin to go to brad's house and record drumlines to one of our songs so i can play around with it here. Everything with the band is great. Its very exciting and fun. Theyre also becoming 3 of the best friends ive ever had. Unlike any other band ive been in, we actually hang out together and do things. We've gone to a Mets game together, Justin and I hang all the time, Zat and I went to Gigantour, I see/work with Scott everyday...i absolutely love it. Theyre amazing. Ive met a nice bunch of new people lately. Myspace can be an incredible tool for contact and communication. There are many people that bash it for it's stupidity, and i can understand why given the amount of idiots on there. Every now and then though, you come across a person that makes you really wonder if its such a bad thing or not. 65% of my daily conversations consist of people ive met through the website...it cant be that bad a thing. One particular person I bumped into has struck my fancy quite a bit. Had one of the greatest phone convos ever with her and it was really rejuvenating. funny, witty, good taste in just about everything...its unreal. we even have a mutual friend, small world. this saosin album really is great. im really glad i took the time to write out this journal entry because it gave me another opportunity to listen to it. tomorrow is not an off day for me, but thats ok because as i said earlier, i like working. i suppose i should throw myself on the bed and try to sleep for a bit. everything is looking good for this week. its going to be an enjoyable one. first hockey game in the league this week!!! ....im so dead lol. goodnight! Current Mood: tired Current Music: Saosin - Its Far Better To Learn

(Leave a comment)

September 19th, 2006

08:56 pm - my goodness What a year. So many things have changed in this year for me. The majority of it was for the better. It was hard dealing with some things happening, losing a relationship right on the 21st bday, not having a job the first half of the year, dad leaving for work for the summer, friends moving away...but everything seemed to work itself out in the best way. I've totally learned how to survive on my own two feet without having someone to lean on and feed off of all the time. I guess being single really worked out for me in that regard. Its not the best feeling, but right now its not bad either. My job...whats there to say that hasnt been said. I absolutely love it. I work 6 days a week now and I make awesome money. More importantly than anything Ive met so many wonderful people. Friends, co-workers, students, theyre all very important to me. They find a way to make every passing day more enjoyable than the one before it. Ive found a place that I dont detest waking up and going to everyday. My family and I have gotten so close in this past year. Aside from my sister, who is quickly detaching herself from us all and picking up horrible habits, everything is great. My parents and I are on an amazing level that I wouldnt trade for anything in the world. Yesterday my dad called me from Oregon while he was on a 15 minute break to eat and wasted his break talking to me and wishing me a happy birthday. A few years ago, Id spend the night up waiting to see if he was even coming home..sober or not. My mother took me out to dinner and gave me the most wonderful card. Something about it struck something in me and I just lost it. She's wonderful. My friends made yesterday the best day it could possibly be. So many people coming through and taking time out of their day to wish me the best...I am truly blessed. Theres nothing I can say about them that I havent repeated a million times, so to all friends old and new: thank you so much for everything you've given me. I feel like im a better person when you are all with me. Just thanks. The future...all I can say is this year is already lining up to be a breakthrough year in my existence. I have an amazing band that will play amazing shows, I joined a hockey league thats starting up in about 2 weeks, I'm going camping again in October, Im meeting more and more incredible people by the day... Its looking like its going to be an excellent adventure and I can wait to be completely caught up in it! :) Current Location: home Current Mood: happy Current Music: They Might Be Giants - I Enjoy Being A Boy

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

August 28th, 2006

12:06 pm What an amazing week. I just got home yesterday from Lake George with Meg, Tim and his family. For those of you who have never traveled up to Lake George, it is the most beautiful area I have ever seen with my two eyes. Ive never been to a freshwater lake before and my god you could see the bottom, the air smelled fresher than ever..it was everything I could have possibly dreamed of. Tim has an incredible family. Theyre all very funny, handy, and welcoming individuals. Many laughs on the boat, in the tents, by the fire... I must say I do love camping. The barebones feel of it just brings you a step back and helps you appreciate your existence/environment. I wish I could still be there. We did so many things and it was still the most relaxing experience ever. I have a beer bottle tan and its amazing. Now we're back into the real world and there are a lot of people to catch up with. I cant wait to get back to work and back into the swing of things. I feel so refreshed now that I dont think its going to be a burden at all anymore. Today also marks the first day of my fairly healthy eating/excersizing habits. Ive decided Im not too happy with myself and its time to adjust that. Im going to have my mom put me on the same diet she is on, and I am going to finally feel healthy. This week is devoted to getting back in touch with the people I havent seen or heard from in 8 days, as well as some that ive not seen in eons. I have a couple major decisions to make as far as my future, but I am confident that everything will work out the way its supposed to. I think that is all for now, I lose motivation to write in this way faster than I used to. It was time for a non-aggressive update though. Get in touch with me if you wanna hang :) I will make it a point to spend some time with you! Love! Current Mood: happy Current Music: The Fad - Bright Lights

(Leave a comment)

July 4th, 2006

06:16 am Dear To Whom It May Concern, You are a cunt. I would confront you, but you are too busy saving your inappropriate obnoxious behavior for when youre on the way out the door. You can call me a child when you get a couple more years under your belt. I hope this hurts your feelings. I hope you cry about it. I hope you hate me for it. And most of all, I hope you know that I only ever share a room with you because I am obliged to. Sincerely, Gus. ------------- Some may ask, Gus...why do you instigate even more bad vibes when something bads already happened? My answer: because it simply amuses me how angry people get at the stupidest of circumstances...to the point where they are fighting for a cause that wasnt even their own to begin with. I just cant help but laugh. So I do it not only to get my points across, but to spend my time enjoying a hearty laugh at someone else's expense. This dramatic fight for your right to live a free life shit at the ripe age of 21 is the biggest bit of nonsense Ive ever had to endure, but if thats the game being played, im more than willing to play, exploit, and in the end laugh about it because thats just the type of person I am. Im bitter about what happens when it happens, but after that, its over for me. If it leaves a stain on a person, its their problem to clean the shit off because my shirts already been washed and im wearing it fresh. With that said, tonight was insaaaaanneellly good. Hanging out with Jay, Christine(s), Avi, his friends from school, Andrew, Brian, Jess. They were all amazing to be with. Love them all so much. So its the 4th of july and this shit crept up on me like craaaazy. That means i only got like 13 days till i go to disney. Its gonna be awesome. Gonna try and get over my fear of heights and have the best time possible! Trish wouldnt let me be any other way about it anyhow. Tonight is a party/bbq at tom's house with all my fucking favs and then some. It should be a great time. After that though, its time to buckle up and start saving hardcore. Alright I was going to write more but I think im going to pass the fuck out. Im pretty sure I got my message across anyways. Have a good one everyone and PLEASE be safe! Dont drive much unless you have to! Current Mood: tired Current Music: Head Automatica - Laughing At You

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

June 29th, 2006

12:36 am These past 2 days have been pretty nonstop, between work, friends, and practice (which ive had the past 2 days straight) its been pretty crazy. Summer is getting to be pretty damn great. The beauty of it all is that its not a seasonal occurrance anymore. Its been a little difficult thinking about people moving away... Jay moving upstate, Tim and Tom moving to Astoria, but now that I think of it, is it really that big a deal? I mean. Astoria is what, a 35 minute drive from here and even faster on a train.. Upstate like an hour? I used to do that long a trip every weekend to see a girl anyway. I think everything will be just fine. :) Ive been creating many more opportunities for new people to get to know me, instead of shutting them out like i used to do. You know what the beauty is about having a personality like mine? If theres someone I dont like, they dont have to be in my life at all. Theres nothing poetic about it, I just make it so. I dont penalize others for it, I just simply back out of it all and exist in my own happy world for a while. Im happy to have my few good friends that would bend over backwards for me. Im also glad to have the aquaintences that spend their days making me laugh my ass off and keeping me human. Im so excited for where this life is going =) uhhh 15 days till disney? HELL YEA! Trish is for the fcking win! I cant think of a better person to take this trip with. I think that does it. Livejournal is a wonderful place for a few good laughs. I cant thank you enough for that<3 =D Current Mood: tired Current Music: Norma Jean - Liarsenic

(9 comments | Leave a comment)

June 24th, 2006

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

June 21st, 2006

06:25 pm I was so negative in the last post. Things have actually been really great of late. Ive done a lot of stuff with a few good people and its been a blast. Ive seen a ton of movies with Trish. We go out on these pseudo dates so often its not even funny lol. Its always a great time though. Lets see, I saw The Omen, The DaVinci Code, X3, Cars, and i think thats the most recent list. Im such a fan of movies. I enjoyed watching all of them. Cars was recommended to me by one of my 7 year old students...so i HAD to go see it. Ive spent a lot of night with jay just playing madden and hanging out. Other nights with Jay Trish and Greg playing Mario Party. Its really just been a lot of fun since theyve come home. Jay is coming over later to hang out, and I think im going to spend some time with Tom tonight also. Then around 1am or so, im going to go play Street Fighter with Greg #2 if he wakes up. Im feeling really good. Its nice having a job that pays me well and I enjoy. My band is really really coming together, life is a fucking party right now and Im riding the buzz for as long as it lasts and then some. Im still a bit out of shape, but for some reason I feel really healthy. I know that I'm not at all, but something gives me a good feeling about myself. Sometime in the near future im gonna clean up my hair since its growing out again so that will be not shameful anymore heh. I bought some new clothes the other day, they excited me. Also got a new hat and all i need is another pair of shoes or 2. Not sure what im gonna go with on that though. Its all happening man, and I love every minute of it. :) nothing but smiles. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: The Receiving End of Sirens - Planning a Prison Break

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

June 14th, 2006

12:24 am - I got bored. So I guess this is where i end up when all else fails in the world and i become bored. Well hello there community of friends that make this pointless to write in because my only friends on here are people i see all the time in person! Its good to be able to communicate to you via a third party program that disintegrates more brain cells than alcohol and heroin combined. my life has been pretty steady. i work a good amount and enjoy almost every minute of it. i still play music as much as possible. we (the band) are bumping noggins and playing tummy sticks often as often as we can to get some music out for people to listen to. its an interesting grind because there is still no bassist. If any of you happen to know someone do let me know. Its Summer. It sure doesnt feel like summer yet, but somehow half of June has already gone by. We're all so busy trying to figure out where life is taking us now that we barely seem to have room for eachother. Its unfortunate but its how the cookie crumbles. Remember those fantasies of sticking together through life, basically hanging in the same neighborhood and being this way till our dying day? Makes you feel a little silly now looking back and thinking that would actually be the case. We got people working in jersey, manhattan, people moving upstate, some to queens, otherwise are in illinois...life finally got to us i guess. Forgive me, I feel like my life has gotten increasingly lonely with age. Time is going by, people are going away, I dont really seem to be meeting anyone new and when I do, im hardly interested in knowing them. Its very frustrating, so again forgive me for my negativity. I miss Tim. I hope he comes back soon so we can actually be friends again. Through most of college I feel like he and I have lost touch and before he goes crazy with life, id like to try and catch any opportunity i can to get back to that brotherly aspect of the friendship we have. I've done a lot of fun things, Ive met a couple awesome people, there are many more interesting things on the way (Disney, wooot!) and I plan on taking advantage of every opportunity i get. My gatorade is cold now so I think i will drink that and occupy my time elsewhere. The fact that im still logging my life on an internet website makes my stomach turn with disgust for myself. Be Good. Current Mood: bored Current Music: Head Automatica - Lying Through Your Teeth

(Leave a comment)

March 19th, 2006

09:39 am - Update You know what the best part about this spring break week being over is? Trish is coming home sooon!!!!! I dont know, I just look forward to her being home and hanging out for a while. I actually have money to do stuff if need be when she calls now and everything! Shes mad fun to talk to on the internets during the school year and it only gets better in person. This week was a load of fun. I saw so many people and did so many things with them that I cant even begin to list everything. Im pretty certain that this past week has made me into a bit of a different, better person. I dont know if its necessarily a better person for other people, but Im definitly better for myself. Its always a good thing when you start taking care of yourself, when your life has direction, and all that nonsense that comes with it. I really miss Scott. I didnt really realize how much we talked and hung out until now where hes gone for 8 days. Nobody to talk to about music gear, and new bands, and anything else funny and exciting. He's coming back on Thursday...he needs to hurry it up heh. So its Sunday, and I have work in like 45 minutes. I havent had to work on a Sunday, since the dawn of fucking man. We're talking its been since like 10th grade. I'm ok with it, because I would just be sitting around playing video games today anyway, but the only thing bringing it down now was that I didnt get enough sleep last night. I got home at like 3am, which would have been fine if I slept by like 3:30, but I went to bed and I just couldnt fucking sleep. So now I am a little cranky and I have to deal with a bunch of people on a 1 on 1 basis. Its going to be very difficult. I usually let the people do their own thing and just support them on what they have been working on. I try to stray away from teaching too many new things because Jimmy is a Music Therapist and usually people like that have a game plan that they go with. Theres so much I have to learn if i want to do this on a regular basis with my own kids and stuff. Ok enough of this, I have a little more time before I go, Im going to go outside and wake up a little bit more. Until Next Time Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Bon Jovi - I Want To Be Loved

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

March 17th, 2006

01:13 pm - hahaha SHABUTIE! Hey so how about an update, eh? I cant even remember everything thats happened since I last wrote in this thing. I went up to Syracuse with Jay to hang out with Andrew. That was a wild weekend. I still cant believe that we drank as much as we did. The 3 of us cleared like 40 beers and 4 pitchers. It was splendid. Syracuse is a wierd place. Everyone was in bed by like 10, the bars closed at like 2:30...I dont know maybe they heard we were coming and were like efff thatttt lol. It was a great time regardless. Andrew is in Europe now and I miss him dearly. I wish I could have seen him for spring break, but its ok we'll cross paths soon enough. Lets see, what else..... I went and saw Billy Joel in concert. That was life changing. Scott was supposed to come with me, but he had the flu so he couldnt. Regardless of that, It was one of the most unforgettable experiences of my life. When he played Its Still Rock and Roll To Me and Movin' Out, I fell apart with happiness. Last weekend, Tom and I went into the city to see Sweeney Todd. That was a hilarious good time. The entire time I sat there in awe, because the actors were the stage crew, were the musicians....it was wild. They all played like 3 instruments and sang and acted and moved the set around. Must have been impossible to find a cast that talented. The story was absolutely over the top amusing and I feel like I got my money's worth so I was pretty happy. Ok new paragraph because that ones starting to look like a clusterfuck to me. Awesome events coming up include Dream Theater's 20th anniversary show with Charlie and Jay. Words cant describe how much I look forward to that show. It feels like yesterday it was 4 months away...and now its less than 2 weeks. I can not wait. I also got a ticket to go see Coheed and Cambria with Avenged Sevenfold. I dont really like Avenged Sevenfold much, but Im obsessed with Coheed. Nobody would go with me, but I dont give a hoot. I bought myself a ticket and I'll just go alone. Most important plans coming up though... DISNEY WITH TRISH!!! Oh man, I cant tell you how excited that makes me. 21 years old and Ive never been to disney and that almost brings a tear to my eye. Well thats fucking changing this summer! I have all the money saved up already, we're booking the hotel when she gets home next week for spring break. I just cant wait. This will be the farthest Ive ever been away from home ever and it cant come soon enough. So nowadays I'm teaching guitar/bass lessons over at Oceanside and Long Beach Music stores. Its not steady enough to be the only job I can have, but its still awesome. One day of work usually nets me around $80-$110, so even with 1 or 2 days a week, its still pretty damn good pay. I have to thank Scott for the opportunity. I was so scared that I wasnt cut out for the job, but Ive always put myself down musically like that. Not anymore. I finally have the confidence to say that I can take care of business when I need to. Im proud of myself for that. I actually have to teach today in like 2 hours. Speaking of music and confidence...lets talk about this band I'm in for a bit. What can I say. I'm in love with the music we make. We're not too serious about it, we dont feel like we're pressed or on a deadline, its just a wonderful experience. Between Justin, Scott, and myself, theres enough creativity and input to fuel a 3rd world country's revolution. We've almost finished 1 song completely and last week we began working on a 2nd song. I already like the 2nd one more than the 1st. Thats the way its supposed to be though, if the songs werent progressive, we'd be in a heap of trouble. I love jamming with them. I could spend all day just rocking out with the 2 of them. We actually did that this past Sunday. It was intense, but so much got done. I also got to get a little better acquainted with Justin as well, which is great. I think we're getting to the comfortable part and past the whole well we just met bit. Now all we need is a solid bassist to fill up that last slot and we're golden. I think life is pretty ok right now. I seem to be moving nonstop. This was spring break for a lot of people so when I'm not working, Im out having a good time with them. I like the action though. I dont think I could just sit here all day anymore if I tried. Now that disney is all saved up for, I'm going to start saving up for some music gear that I need to get. This band really makes me feel how old my gear is. Its due for a massive upgrade. Im still single, but right now, thats a good thing. Things are really moving and I dont have much time to be important to someone. If something came along, maybe Id give it a shot, but otherwise Im good the way things are, thanks. I think its time to wrap up this post. I've missed so much detail, but this is all I have the patience to write about for now. Perhaps my next entry wont take like 3 months to post? lol. I guess if I forgot something, drop me a comment with what I forgot and I'll work off that. ;) Until Next Time! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Coheed and Cambria - Devil In Jersey City

(Leave a comment)

February 21st, 2006

05:25 pm - Update God, I love this soundtrack. Hang on 2 minutes, I gotta put pants on... alright im good now. So as I posted, this weekend was pretty awesome. I havent been able to find the 2 cd soundtrack from this movie to download, but Ill find it. Worst case, I'll just go out and buy it. Its so very good. Tonight is the first practice with Justin. I know that was supposed to be like eons ago, but things kept coming up and getting in the way, but now his garage is cleaned out, theres no snow storm, or anything else in our way. Its going to be quite exciting playing with a drummer again. Drums just define a song in so many different ways. Scott should be coming by here in like 2 or 3 hours and we're gonna grab our smaller amps and take em over there and just rock out for a bit. I dont know why it's been happening, but i have had a hard time sleeping as of late. Last week I was awake for 64 hours before I went to bed. This week, I have been going to sleep, but its always been interrupted sleep. Yesterday and the day before, I kept having dreams about Aimee and every hour I would wake myself up and try to tell myself to stop it and just sleep. They just kept coming back. Why cant I get her out of my head? I was watching a movie today in my half awake daze, I dont remember what it was called, but the couple had absolutely nothing in common and when someone asked why he wants to be with her, he said exactly for that. They were completely different because she was his other half and that once you become whole, you cant go back to the normal half. This reminded me of our relationship because we could never let go of the fact that there were so many things that we didnt have in common. I dont know, this stuff has to get out of my head. She barely talks to me anymore, let alone give me reason to still think about all this stuff. I have noticed that I've become quite numb to the thought of having a woman in my life. I hate being single, but I havent no desire to approach a girl about anything emotional at all. It stinks to feel this way. Its almost like ignoring an entire aspect of life. I dont know. For now, Im going to sit here, maybe play some more Mario Kart for a bit, wait for my parents to get home,clean up all my gear and get it ready to move out, listen to this soundtrack, and maybe eat something. Tonight is going to be a great night. Meeting someone new always makes me happy :) Until Next Time edit: Totally forgot to mention that this weekend is the weekend I go up to Syracuse!!! Yaaaayyy! I cant wait to see andrew and just hang out for a couple days. I dont know when we're staying there till, but the longer the better. I need a break from being around here. Hell, as you read in the previous paragraph, I need a break from my own brain. I gotta go get me a haircut and go to the DMV before I go up there though. Its gonna be cold as hell though I bet..and I dont really have cold as hell clothing lol. Whatever, there will be lots and lots of good times to be had! Ok I really think thats it this time. Current Mood: excited Current Music: Phantom of the Opera - Music of the Night

(Leave a comment)

February 20th, 2006

08:41 am - Update Last night was fucking STELLAR. I spoke with some wonderful people online for a bit, then Tom, Charlie, and Quack came over here..and we sat around talking and listening to 90's music... We're talking, Gin Blossoms, Hootie & The Blowfish, Goo Goo Dolls, Rage Against the Machine, Blues Traveler, Bloodhound Gang, The Presidents of the United States of America, Tonic, Live....it was wicked rad! Afterwards we played Tales of Symphonia and Mario Kart for a good while. Mom made an awesome dinner for everyone (my sister's college buds, my friends, and I) and...we all are good and familiar with my mother's cooking<333333333 I feel kinda bad because I told Lisa to call me and like a doof I forgot my phone in my jacket pocket...which for the first time like..EVER in my life, I actually put in my closet, so I didnt that there was no phone call till like 11pm. By then, she was busy and said she'd call back, but she didnt. I feel bad about that, but otherwise the night was great. Tom and I stayed up all night cuz he has work tonight and has to sleep through the day, so I offered to keep him company. He just left to go to bed now. Im pretty set for bed myself. My room is all clean and spiffy and I worked hard to get it this way. I cant wait to paint it and put all these guitars up on my wall. Its gonna be amazing to walk into a decorated room again. I think thats all for now, I love my friends. They make me smile all the time. Whether it be my internet friends (those I cant see cuz school separates us), my nerd friends, my drinking buddies, my music fanatics...You all give me something different to breathe in, and its great!! Until Next Time! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Blues Traveler - Hook

(Leave a comment)

February 19th, 2006

01:37 pm - Update "One Fine Day" If I had a perfect day I would have it start this way Open up the fridge and have a tall boy Yeah Then I'd meet up with my friends Head out to the game again We don't even really care who wins Now excitement seems to grow When we're hangin' with the bro's When we're chillin' and we pound a case of Stroh's Now the game is cool to see You can "High 5" on TV Count the riot on the one two three Operation is in sight And the field is open wide When you break it then you know you're still alive If the cops don't make you pay And you make your getaway Then you know That's one fine day On that day before we're through We could torch a car or two Then have ourselves another tall boy Yeah Water hoses and batons That's the real game that's on I don't really give a shit who wins I believe it's my god-given right To destroy everything in my sight Cause it never gets dull, it never gets old The only thing it gets is more bold Drinkin', fightin', going to the game In our world it's a way to stay sane If you're asking me To have it my way, I'd say that's One fine day -------------------------- today, is gonna be pretty awesome. Mom is cooking all this awesome food, and im cleaning out my room and I got some people coming over for dinner and fun party video games!!! I think at the moment the company consists of Quack, Charlie, Tom, and Lisa? Always a question mark around her name because I never really know when she'd want to come or not heh. Last night after enough peer pressure I convinced her to come play poker with us at Conroys yesterday, and I think she had a good time, which is awesome because I like when people have a great time. I ended up winning the game, and 20 bux. It was fun being there. Dart was there too..its always a pleasure seeing him. Next week i believe is Syracuse weekend. I gotta talk to Jay and figure out exactly how thats going down. Billy Joel is coming up soon. Words cant even describe the excitement about that. Meh, Im going off on tangents and I have to finish cleaning. Until Next Time! Current Mood: excited Current Music: The Offspring while I Clean.

(Leave a comment)

February 18th, 2006

02:01 am - Update You know, blah isnt really a bad emotion.. and they dont have a selection for 'i dont really know how im feeling' so I just went with that. So I was awake for 64 hours straight this week and finally got to sleep last night for the first time since i woke up tuesday. There are just some things that wont get out of my mind and theyre messing me up. Its not like I didnt try to sleep..I just couldnt. Convo I had with my dad tonight: dad: what do you want from burger king? me: just a double whopper meal, #2 dad: ....only 1? me: ....yes dad: you said you were hungry, you only want one? whats that going to do for you? me: how many double whoppers do you want me to eat? dad: are you sure you only want 1? me: yes dad... I am positive. dad: I'm getting you 2. me: .... The 2nd one is still sitting here. How much am I supposed to eat? lol. I mean, if he was joking that'd be one thing, but he's not. Do I really have such retarded eating habits? I know that I can eat a lot, but Ive been striving to not go crazy lately with it. I could barely finish the whopper that i actually did eat. Yesterday I hung out with Tom and Lisa(whom I havent seen in like 2 years) and that was awesome. I hadnt slept..and I was fucking WILD. I couldnt stop talking. I was making jokes (that they actually laughed at..wtf?) and just being a fucking social crazy folk. I liked it. I never knew there was so much to say. Tonight Tom and I went over to Conroys because he wanted to hang out with friends. We watched Robocop and Robocop 2. I dont really know why...but it was fun. Tomorrow is another hangout at John's only with booze and metal mania. Lisa is working but I told her to call up afterwards and Id come get her to hang out. Its nice seeing her again after all this time. And hanging out with Tom this often...amazing. As it sits right now, its looking like I will have an actual band practice this monday. Im excited for that. Oh playing with drums, theres nothing quite like it. I think thats it. Until next time, I leave you with quite possibly the BEST blonde joke ive ever come across: A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started. Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger. "Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He held her hand softly, led her to a chair and said, "Secondly, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, and then. ... "He sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box." Until Next Time Lovers! Current Mood: blah Current Music: Live - Selling the Drama

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

February 16th, 2006

07:20 am - Update I read Tim's journal entry and got in the mood to listen to some Maiden, which doesnt appen very often. Thank you Tim. Is it wierd that my favorite Maiden song is Futureal? One of the few albums that Bruce Dickinson wasnt singing for them....awkward. Speaking of...what the fuck is this font...it looks different than usual. Im pretty bored, its 7:30am, so heres me hopping on the bandwagon while i wait for a freeroll poker tourney as well as my day to start... ------- last kiss: last peck? new years. Last actual kiss...sometime in November. last good cry: My last intense cry was November 27th 2005. last library book checked out: Green Eggs and Ham...quite recently actually lol. last good movie seen: this award has to go to Corpse Bride. It was wonderfully saddening and yet uplifting. I think I can safely consider myself a fan of Tim Burton...as I seem to like every movie he creates. last beverage drank: chocolate milk last food consumed: a slice of dominos w/ snausage :D last phone call: scott telling me hes on my porch. last time showered: this morning around 6ish last shoes worn: my Adidas Superstar II's <3333 last cd played: The Used - In Love and Death. I cant seem to get enough of it. last item bought: Billy Joel Tickets!!! last downloaded: Iron Maiden - Brave New World last annoyance: hmm my game controller wire and headphones wire got tangled under the wheel of my chair...i HATE when that happens. last thing written: while playing poker with charlie: mother fucking 2 5 offsuit charlie. YOU CANT WHIPE YOUR ASS WITH CARDS LIKE THAT. Your asscheeks look at you like OMFG are you SERIOUSLY GONNA TOUCH ME WITH THOSE CARDS?! last key used: my car key last word spoken: poop. not surprising eh? last sleep: yesterday afternoon's nap. last IM: charlie going back n forth on poker last ice cream eaten: strawberry with choc syrup! last time amused: charlie insulting the time limit on hands last time hugged: holy hell...when christine and jay came down to visit last time scolded: valentine's day last time dancing: the night jay and i met up w/ mazz and a few others and we ended up at a club in rvc...wtf? last poster looked at: i dont know...probably the new metallica poster on conroy's bedroom door. last webpage visited: this one...durk uh durrrrr 1 MINUTE AGO: got knocked out in the poker tournament cuz asshole had JJ and i had JK and a J came out. 1 HOUR AGO: eating pizza, listening to music, waiting for the day to start 1 DAY AGO: doing the same thing minus the pizza...i live an exciting life. lol 1 WEEK AGO: ill give you a hint...see above. 1 YEAR AGO: In class at this hour. I HURT: every time I hear that France is still a World Power. I LOVE: the feeling of putting on a particular pair of boot cut jeans i own right after they were washed and dried...theyre all snug and fit perfect and look great and mmmm<33 I HATE: my lack of committment to important things....and at the same time i guess my overcommittment to other things I FEAR: the reaper even though will farrell tells me not to as he klonks his cow bell oh so melodically. I HOPE: that the Mets dont suck ballsack this year. I FEEL: angry at everything, but in the happiest way possible I DRIVE: in hopes of one day completely spazzing out, driving across the country and never coming back. havent built the courage yet though heh. I MISS: cool summer nights...retardedly hot summer days, the local music scene, my social personality, jay, andrew, tim, trish, lisa, aimee, jess, your mother's box, and an assortment of various other goodies. current clothes: my super cool Jnco's 90's tshirt and aeropostale bootcut jeans, adidas superstars, and my urban pipeline hat. current mood: your mom, should be in my bed...so I can shit on her stomach and eat out her nostrils. current music: The Last 5 Years - Shiksa Goddess current taste: broccoli cheddar soup plssss current hair: i dont know...my hair just falls where it falls. current smell: pizzaaaa current thing i should be doing instead of this: preparing to leave...although i pretty much am set to go current desktop picture: Cloud and Sephiroth preparing to duel eachother. The background is from Kingdom Hearts, but the characters portrayed are from Final Fantasy 7, Protagonist and Antagonist, respectively. current worry: theres always a bunch. but the most direct one at the moment is should I get my hair cut or let it grow out, and if i choose to get it cut...where the hell should I go. I dont know why, but this survey felt more pointless than most others. I have nothing deep and involved to write out today. Im hanging out with Tom tonight and Lisa will be stopping on by later in the eve i think...havent seen her in like 2 years...wtf. Thats gonna be interesting. We'll see what happens heh. Thats it, im sick of this. Until Next Time! Current Mood: content Current Music: Iron Maiden - Futureal

(Leave a comment)

February 13th, 2006

01:00 am - Update Cold weather, snow, and freeezing room makes this a good time for a journal update. Sadly to say, there really arent many things I can contribute to this post. As the spring nears, I find myself questioning many different things. One of these things, is possibly continuing education. I dont know what it is but something tells me that I should enroll at school in the fall. There are just so many things I feel that I dont have yet and its cause for questioning. Any decision on that, though, must be made soon in order to determine where my future lies. I dont really like being out of my own loop. I'll assess my options in regards to education in further detail this coming week so that I may have some sort of rough conclusion to work with. So Valentine's Day is on tuesday. I dont really know how I'm going to feel on that day. Part of me wants to just wish everyone else a wonderful day, smile, and be on with my life...and the bigger other part of me wants to completely shut down and lie in bed half teary-eyed all day. I miss the companionship I guess. Its difficult to explain how I feel as far as this goes. The best I can do is just say that I really enjoy this holiday and I dont take it in the 'hallmark' way, and I wish I could give that feeling to someone. To take time out of this particular day to just acknowledge them a little bit more and let them know I understand everything they do for me. I guess I'm just a wierdo like that. That whole nice guy thing...really gotta find a way to give it up. Hurts a lot more than it seems to help lol. Nothing really outside of the norm. I have a lot of things planned that I'd like to do this summer. Among these are paintballing, skydiving, drive to maybe DC and check out all the historical stuff? travel to ANYWHERE that isnt new york pretty much. Trip to Splish Splash again! Maybe get this band in full swing and play a show or 2... LAZER TAG! join up in a bowling league for the season (any takers? :D) and an assortment of getting drunk and for the love of god...lots of photographs. Thats pretty much the tip of the iceberg. There are so many things that I just havent done, and I have to do them, because what if i died tomorrow? I mean...theres nothing that tells me ill be around for a long time, so I have to get this shit done and just rock the fuck out. I always have a way of filling this thing up it seems. I missed Zoolander on tv today and that made me very sad. I miss my friends that are away at school. I'll be in Syracuse the weekend of the 24th? of this month..i think... Jay and Drew made the plans so I'm just going by what was riddled to me. That should be an exciting visit. I guess thats all for tonight. Questions, Comments, Quarrels, Cheap Sex, Drugs, Trance Music, Compliments, Video Game Queries...you know where to find me :) Until Next Time Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: The Underwater - Fallen One

(4 comments | Leave a comment)